Live In The Moment

I spent a lot of time as a coach talking about the importance of controlling what you can control.  I use this saying to keep my players minds focused on themselves instead of the things occurring around them in every moment that is not within their control.  Outside of our attitude and our effort everything else is up to chance and not within our control.  While I mention that I use this saying for my athletes this applies to all aspects of life.  How often have you found yourself in a moment and thinking about the past and wondering what you could have done different?  Or thinking about the future and what might happen next?  Both of these things are not within our control.  We can’t change the past and we can’t make the future happen how we want, at least not exactly.  The moment we’re in is the only place where we can affect change.

I used to dwell on past mistakes and wonder what might happen in the future.  I’ve spent a good amount of time trying to become more present in any moment that I’m in.  I believe this change has allowed me to handle disappointment better and overcome setbacks.  When we focus on each moment for what it is, we understand that when the moment is over we can’t change it.  The past can’t be changed.  When a moment has happened, there’s not going back to change it.  The faster we can let go of the past the faster we can make adjustments and impact the next moment.  Being able to let go of the past is one of the most common mistakes I see in my athletes.

How often have you had a moment happen that didn’t go your way?  I want everyone to take a minute and think about something that went wrong in your life.  It can be relationships, work, sports, whatever.  Your boss assigns mandatory overtime, your significant other cheats on you, an umpire or official makes a bad call, the government shuts down your business.  In each of these situations how much control did you have?  The answer is none.  You can’t control mandatory overtime.  You can’t control another persons actions.  You can’t control what another person sees or calls during competition.  Even if you could, would you be able to go back and change what has already happened?  Again the answer is no.  I’m sure some of you might be thinking that if you did something different in the past you might be able to avoid getting cheated on.  Maybe, but the truth is people do things everyday that doesn’t make sense and thinking about the past and worrying about what might have been is no way to live.

The same can be true for thinking of the future.  If you’re at work and you’re working on a project, but the whole time you’re thinking about the deadline, your upcoming vacation, the meeting with your boss scheduled for next week.  Is your focus actually on your project?  Are you giving your best effort toward the work you’re being asked to do?  If you’re up to bat in a big game and you’re thinking about hitting a home run, or if we win we go to states; are you focused on what’s coming at you next?  Are you present in the current moment?  The future is not in your control.  Sure you can do things that set your future up to be more successful, but even if you do everything right things may not workout as you hoped or dreamed.  I’m not saying this to bring you down or smash your dreams, but to focus your effort.

I want people to dream and dream big.  In order to succeed and achieve big dreams, we must have focused, purposeful effort on specific tasks along the way.  The only thing you can control when trying to achieve big dreams is the thing your doing right now to get there.  I have big lofty dreams, dreams that will require a lot of work to get there.  I think about these dreams daily, but I focus on each moment that I’m in and what I have to do to get there.  The most important thing is the moment I’m in.  It is the only time where I am somewhat in control.  The sooner we understand this the better prepared we are for the ups and downs that are bound to occur along the way.

I think the ability to appreciate each moment is so important right now.  I look at so many people who are angry or upset about what’s going on in this world.  I get it, it’s not ideal.  But being upset about something you don’t have control of is only going to lead to more anger and less control.  Right now we don’t have any idea how long this is going to last.  The future is uncertain and out of our control, but this is nothing new.  The only thing new is the moment we’re in is different that usual, which is the hardest thing for most people to handle.  The other thing to understand about this moment is there is nothing you could have done in the past to avoid this moment.  It was going to happen, and now it’s here and that isn’t going to change.

Recently I’ve posted a lot of videos and pictures of my son.  I do this for two reasons.  One I think he’s the most adorable little dude on the planet as all fathers do.  The second reason though is to bring joy to a moment, this moment, in someone else’s life.  If I can get someone to smile and forget about all that is happening around us, then I’ve achieved my goal of that post.  Watching my son these last few days has been awesome because he’s not affected by everything going on around him.  All he knows is that his parents are staying home with him to play.  He’s the best example of being in the moment that I’ve ever seen.  If you have young kids watch them closely over the next few days.  Watch the joy they have for little things, watch how something that happens doesn’t affect anything that happens next.

Think about it for a second.  When a kid falls down (assuming they’re not hurt), they get up and continue doing whatever it was that they were doing.  They don’t question why they fell, or think what if I fall again.  They’re not thinking about the past or falls that have happened before, or looking to the future and acting scared of a fall that hasn’t happened yet.  They’re right in the moment.  Then as that moment passes, they move on with it into the next moment.  Imagine if we all could live in the moment as well as a kid.  Think of how much simpler things would be.  Think of how much more joy we’d experience.  Think of how much less anxiety or pain we’d experience thinking about things that may never happen.  

I’d love for everyone to experience the joy that comes from being completely in a moment.  A lot of psychologists refer to this phenomena as being in flow.  It’s a state when the past and future disappear and we find ourself completely consumed by what we’re doing in the moment.  In that moment time passes by quickly and effortlessly and we find our body and mind working as one to achieve whatever task we’re doing.  I’ve experienced this feeling a few times in my life, mostly when I was an athlete, but a few times when I was writing as well.  I felt this again today watching my son run laps around my house.  I think if we all start striving to be present in every moment we will become better in every way.  We will be better listeners, better learners, better at handling disappointment and failure, better lovers, better parents, better friends, and we will take one step closer to greatness.

As this time at home extends and we’re stuck out of our normal routines for longer and longer remember these few key things.  Continue to dream big, but remember the future isn’t something you have control of.  We can’t change the past and once something happens that moment is over and there’s no going back.  Be present, live in the moment and love the moment you’re in.  The good, the bad, the ugly moments all serve to mold you into what you’re meant to be.  Use this time as an opportunity to connect with those around you and be present.  Live each moment and control what you can control.